When I think of you, I think of your skin. Your amazing soft skin. I never had the chance to touch it, but I know it is soft, comfortable. Just like I imagine your lips to be.
I never told you how much I was in love with you and even though I know you probably won’t read this, I am finally going to confess it.
I was incredibly in love with you.
I remember the very first time I saw you. 2007, summer was off, my first day back to school. I’d been sitting on my desk waiting for the teacher to arrive when you walked into the classroom.
I was in shock because that was the very first time I actually thought of someone in a romantic way. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Can you imagine what that was like for me? A shy and introverted girl, who could only think about science, books and indie music, who had never thought about any romantic thing happening to her, suddenly finds herself in love.
I was so scared! I was afraid of everyone, especially you. What if you found out? I knew I would never have a shot, I thought you were way out of my league. So I kept it in. I kept my passion inside and decided I would never say anything.
Everytime you were near me, I started sweating a lot, shaking, my heartbeat got fast and furious. Everytime you spoke to me, my mind froze, I couldn’t think right and ended up saying things that didn’t make sense. And after those moments, I felt guilt and shame for being so weird, so different, so weak.
It lasted five years. During the fifth year, I finally convinced myself that: I. Nothing was ever going to happen. II. It was making me feel bad. So I made myself get over you.
Years passed, I moved to one place, you moved to another. We’re building our destinies in separate ways and gosh… It’s been a lot of time since I last saw you!
However, in my memory, you will always be my first crush. The first person who made me wonder about how nice dating would be. Hugging, touching, kissing. Being together.
Thank you for that.
Yeah, you carried romance in the palm of your hand, you drove me wild.
(Post inspired by Drove me Wild, by Tegan and Sara and by the Daily Post’s Opening Lines)