If there’s one thing that inhabits my thoughts whenever I daydream is time travel. In all of its forms, of course.
Time traveling isn’t just about one of the greatest challenges to the Laws of Physics. Well, I believe it can be even simpler than that, given the fact that we almost don’t experience “present” as our senses can only process things that have happened at least, I don’t know, a few femtoseconds before. But let’s not go that far. Even with our simple notion of past, we have to agree that past events are crucial to our present and future. Therefore, we are always looking at the past. So, we are always time-traveling.
But sometimes, there are parts of our past we’d rather not look at. We’d rather forget their existence. In my experience, we may do that, but there’ll always be a time this past returns somehow. It’s happening to me now.
I’ve got a Reunion to go. I’ll meet some of my High School classmates – the ones I considered friends. And I’m scared.
I’m scared because that time was one of the hardest for me. I hid from everyone my true self, my thoughts, emotions, because I was terrified. What if they found out? What would they think of me? I was trying to be a girly girl, trying to fit in. I felt terrible. Will meeting them bring back all these feelings?
I’m scared because I’ve changed. Both mentally and physicly. They will obviously notice the latest. Will I have to explain these changes? And if so, how will I do it? How can I do it? How will they react?
The true point is that, for me, it’s like my today self meeting their past selves. ‘Cause maybe, for me, they haven’t changed. I’ve only felt time go by in my own life, I know little about theirs.
I guess I should try not to think of it this way.
I should force myself to believe they have changed as well. That their past selves are as much gone as my sorrow. That we’ve all grown. Yes, we’ve all grown. And I must be true to myself. Always.