‘Take Me Out’

Yesterday was free-writing day (I’m sorry I’m late) and I want to talk about something I rarely talk about in my life: flirting.

I’m far from being good at it, as I didn’t practice it much in the past. Introversion, shyness and my discomfort about my appearance (which is finally over :D) have stopped me from acting on my feelings towards the people I liked.

However, recently I noticed this really cute friend of mine was kind of flirting with me (maybe my (new) butch style made me more attractive) and, the thing is, I faced my fears and responded. So, I have a date coming up, but I still feel a bit insecure about how to behave, what to do, things like that.

So, I ask you, my dear readers: do you have any advice to share about dating, flirting, romantic relationships in general?

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On introversion and shyness

Hello, folks!

Before I go on with my series of posts about Brazilian soap operas, a subject which I love writing about, I want to write my heart out again and keep talking about last post‘s subjects: introversion and shyness. My introversion and shyness (they’re two separate things, but in me they’re together).

One of the main reasons why I started this blog was: I wanted to communicate better with people. I wanted to learn how to explain my ideas and emotions without feeling awkwardness and fear. And it has helped a lot, let me tell you. Writing has become the most comfortable way I found to get my thoughts across.

Talking isn’t my best.

Everytime I get to talk to someone, like anyone (except for a very few friends), I get a bit nervous and uncomfortable, I suddenly am aware of every move I make and wonder if I’m doing something wrong with my body language, or if there’s something wrong with my clothes, or if that person is judging me and what they might be thinking about me. It’s kind of nerve wracking.

Before I got my hair cut short, it was worse (believe me, it can get worse).

Anyways, I think that this has something to do with the fact that growing up I didn’t – I’ll try to do my best to explain here – get used to being around people. Since early childhood, I’ve always enjoyed solitude. I used to spend lots of time reading and studying by myself. It brought (brings) me peace and safety. Along with that, I was kind of bullied because of my hair style and that surely didn’t make me want to be around other kids more.

This went on until I got to university, where I feel more comfortable than I did in high school and junior high, and am able to speak my mind about the subjects I study (engineering and maths). However, I’m still not used to social situations, like parties (which are like hell to me), and any types of conversations that aren’t about engineering and maths.

Summing up: I don’t want (or think it is possible to) change my introversion trait (because there’s nothing wrong with it), but I do want to be less shy/awkward around people. So, now I ask you: Are you shy and/or introverted and go/went through something similar? Do you have any advice on how to communicate well with people? Please, share with me in the comments section (the ‘leave a reply’ button is up the page).

I leave you with Snow Patrol. Just because they’re amazing and I love them. Bye!

You Drove Me Wild

When I think of you, I think of your skin. Your amazing soft skin. I never had the chance to touch it, but I know it is soft, comfortable. Just like I imagine your lips to be.

I never told you how much I was in love with you and even though I know you probably won’t read this, I am finally going to confess it.

I was incredibly in love with you.

I remember the very first time I saw you. 2007, summer was off, my first day back to school. I’d been sitting on my desk waiting for the teacher to arrive when you walked into the classroom.

I was in shock because that was the very first time I actually thought of someone in a romantic way. I couldn’t take my eyes off of you. Can you imagine what that was like for me? A shy and introverted girl, who could only think about science, books and indie music, who had never thought about any romantic thing happening to her, suddenly finds herself in love.

I was so scared! I was afraid of everyone, especially you. What if you found out? I knew I would never have a shot, I thought you were way out of my league. So I kept it in. I kept my passion inside and decided I would never say anything.

Everytime you were near me, I started sweating a lot, shaking, my heartbeat got fast and furious. Everytime you spoke to me, my mind froze, I couldn’t think right and ended up saying things that didn’t make sense. And after those moments, I felt guilt and shame for being so weird, so different, so weak.

It lasted five years. During the fifth year, I finally convinced myself that: I. Nothing was ever going to happen. II. It was making me feel bad. So I made myself get over you.

Years passed, I moved to one place, you moved to another. We’re building our destinies in separate ways and gosh… It’s been a lot of time since I last saw you!

However, in my memory, you will always be my first crush. The first person who made me wonder about how nice dating would be. Hugging, touching, kissing. Being together.

Thank you for that.

Yeah, you carried romance in the palm of your hand, you drove me wild.

(Post inspired by Drove me Wild, by Tegan and Sara and by the Daily Post’s Opening Lines)